I have always prided myself in being an active and involved parent. I am a single mother, the only breadwinner, and my sons’ everything. I have a small extended family that I see weekly and a sitter that loves my son like he is her own. My son just turned 6 last week and during this Covid crisis, I hesitantly made a well visit appointment. I’d figured that most people were still locked in their homes after 3 1/2 months and I could get an appointment without the wait, hassle, or traffic. I was correct! I only had to wait 3 days for a morning appointment.
To be honest, I had anxiety for months about this doctors’ visit. Doctors are very skilled at making you feel dumb because clearly we came to them for answers and couldn’t possibly know any better! Their passive aggression is something I’ve picked up on my entire life. See, I am medically overweight and have been my entire life. I have struggled with losing weight for over 3 decades now. My pain and fears have now resurfaced because my son is now medically overweight. My goodness, out of all the things to pass on to my child, I pass on the almost impossible task of learning how to lose weight and learning to eat. Exhale! Why oh why?
Let’s rewind a bit. A few years back, my son and I went to a routine visit at the same doctors office. In the waiting room I struck up a conversation with a gentleman that had a son, looked to be about 7, with a stocky build. We exchanged pleasantries and were both called into separate examination rooms. This is a quiet office and with the doors ajar, you can hear entire conversations. The gentleman and his son walk past my exam room to the scale and his son weighed 92 lbs at the age of 7. Is that heavy? Yes! Is that the healthiest weight? No. Should some changes be implemented so that it doesn’t get any worse? Absolutely! The doctor, gentlemen and his son walk back into the room. At this point, I can hear the doctor tell the boy to climb on the table so she can examine him. I overheard the doctor say to the father, “Wow you’re going to have a line backer on your hands”! When I heard that I laughed to myself. She then said, “your son is healthy and solid”. For clarification purposes, the gentleman was approximately 6’2″, 180lbs, so pretty slim build. I reference this memory because my experience since then has not been even close to similar.
So during my appointment last week, my son gets on the scale and he is heavier than the height/weight standards for a 6 year old. We walk back into the exam room and even though I am slightly nauseous, I am waiting for my pat on the back and my proclamation of my son becoming a football star. I guess you’ve figured out by now that my doctors response was very different. Here’s what I feel happened. The pediatrician looked at me and deduced that my bad habits have now destroyed my sons life. Wait! Hold up!! You are the very same doctor that saw the slim father and told him is son was as healthy as a horse! All of a sudden because I am thicker than the average woman, I am a terrible mother that needs to be talked to with passive aggression?
Ugh!! Well the doctors’ “suggestion” consisted of making my son a vegan. I am not against veganism at all. I repeat, I am not against VEGANS! What I am against is why the tone and tenor of conversation was different under similar circumstances. I am ready and willing to do what I need to to change the path of my son’s “weight issues”, but I will not impart my pain or the worlds’ crap on his shoulders.
huuh-what.com 